Note: All books listed here are available through your local library. If a book is not available at your library, the librarian can request it through Intra-library loan, which is a national loan system for all public libraries. This is a convenience for the patrons to be able to borrow directly from your library and to return the book to your library. Some smaller libraries may request a minimal fee of .50 per book to help pay for mailing expense

Explaining Adoption

Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child; Making Sense of the Past
Betsy Keefer and Jayne E. Schooler, Bergin and Garvey Publisher, 2000. 235 pages.
An excellent book! It begins with the concept of secrecy and how it still exists and to whose advantage it works. (No one’s.) Foster and adoptive children’s feelings, the feelings of the parents--biological and foster or adoptive—and the different ways in which children may have been adopted are approached while advising how much to disclose and when or at what ages and stages of emotional development. Open adoptions are discussed, and so are closed adoptions that are then opened up. Tips about what to tell teachers and schools are given. Tips about how to keep an open and on going communication with your child are at issue in two different chapters, which also relate how to bring the child emotionally closer to the parent by sharing the history of his or her life. It treats adoption as a mystery and a good one when it is dealt with in a humane and caring way.

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Adoption and Education

Parenting A Struggling Reader; a Guide to Diagnosing and Finding Help for Your Child’s Reading Difficulties, Susan L. Hall and Louisa C. Moats, Ed.D., Broadway Books, New York, 2002.
The information in this book has been helpful, and it can be an important source of information for any parent of a child with reading difficulties. Both authors are board members of the International Dyslexia Association. Ms. Hall is also spokesman for the Coordinated Campaign for Learning Disabilities and has parented a son with dyslexia. They offer the encouraging opinion that parents can do much to help their children learn to read successfully, but only by asserting oneself and becoming informed can parents make appropriate decisions and advocate effectively on behalf of their child. The book leads the parent through the steps of identifying the problem, making decisions about appropriate testing, seeking a diagnosis, and determining which reading instruction methods are appropriate and effective. One chapter offers specific suggestions on helping the older child, and the final chapter gives parents a basic understanding of navigating the IEP (Individualized Instruction Plan) process. A comprehensive appendix highlights assessment tools that can be used and offers suggestions of numerous resources including books, videos, and websites. Many chapters offer solutions to real-life scenarios submitted by parents as well as helpful charts and diagrams. It contains useful information for parents of struggling readers of any age.

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Adoption and Finances

How to Make Adoption an Affordable Option
National Endowment for Financial Education, 1997.
This succinctly put-together booklet totals 76 pages. It contains information for both anticipation of adopting and for post adoption. The post-adoption section has a chapter entitled, “Taking Care of Yourselves,” and one entitled, “Planning for Your Child’s Future.” Both are pertinent to IFAPA families. Taxes in light of adoption are explained, as are employee benefit programs, such as the Federal Family and Medical Leave Act. There is also a section on adoption terminology, and it has a resource list, which includes books, magazines, and newsletters.

Accessing Federal Adoption Subsidies After Legalization
Tim O’Hanlon, Ph.D., Child Welfare League of America, Washington, D.C., 1995.
Even if some legal aspects have been changed since 1995, the process and the understanding of how to go about receiving funds are written in terms that the non-government person can understand. A must for any family who is having troubles with getting subsidies.

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Adoption – General

Helping Children cope with Separation and Loss
Claudia L. Jewett, The Harvard Common Press, 1982.
Starting with telling children about a loss, Claudia Jewett takes us through the steps that children go through in order to process the grieving of losing someone. Death, divorce, and leaving biological parents to go to foster parents, and leaving foster parents to live with adoptive parents are all included in this classic book. The reader is given the stages of grief and ways to treat the child in order to preserve her self-esteem. Feelings are discussed in detail and how we as parents and guardians can work with the child to help them recognize and accept those feelings is a topic she devotes much effort to and expects us to do the same when working with the child. Excellent.

Helping Children When They Must Move
Vera Fahlberg, M.D., Michigan Department of Social Services, 1980. 
This was written for Adoption Social Workers to prepare children for moving from birth families to foster homes and from foster homes to other foster homes or adoptive homes. It is a guide to prepare the children for permanency and to help them to attach and learn to love the forever family. In the guide, foster and adoptive parents work together to prepare the child, and steps are listed for making the transition easier on the child. If a family has already adopted and these suggested acts were not employed, it is still possible for the adoptive family to pick up on some of these and work with the child; this will guide the family in comprehending the child’s behaviors and feelings and give suggestions for ways to react and assuage the pain.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Families Knew
Sherrie Eldridge, Dell Publishing, 1999.
Excellent! The author is an adoptee. She writes from the point of view of the baby or child who has lost everything and is thrown into unknown situations. She addresses a range of emotions, including fear, grieving, and anger; all feelings extending from the loss of control over one’s environment and self. She addresses types of behavior that accompany these emotions, which can promote a life-long sense of emptiness. She also recommends parenting responses that heal the inner pain. Included is also a thorough bibliography where the ardent reader/parent can pursue more research on specific topics.

Raising Adopted Children, a Manual for Adoptive Parents
Lois Ruskai Melina, Harper and Row Publishers, 1986.
Though this book is 15 years old, the information is still pertinent, and its resources are useful. This begins with covering the transition of becoming an instant family and the adjustments necessary to talking with children about their adoption, to dealing with the problems that adoption can create within a family, based on feelings of loss and the subsequent grief, to family history, to dealing with the adolescent adoptee, to severe behavior problems, to contact with biologic relatives, to adopting transracially, to single adoptive parenting, and to special situations in adoption. This is the type of book that can be read in any of its parts to obtain whole information on one subject; it doesn’t have to be read in its entirety to make sense. Each section offers information that is easily comprehended and thorough.

Raising Adopted Children, Lois Ruskai Melina, Harper Perennial, 1998.
This book contains lots of practical advice that mostly amounts to lead-ins about where to find more information on many of the questions and difficulties that arise in adopting a child. I have one trepidation, however; it is geared toward white parents, as it refers to bi-racial children and the adopting of bi-racial children. In this sense, it is sensitive to these children’s needs of knowledge about their own ethnic culture, but it may step on the toes of those who are not white.

The Adoption Reader
Edited by Susan Wadia-Ells, Seal Press, 1995
This is a collection of essays grouped into three categories: Birth mothers, adoptive mothers, and birth daughters. Some of the mothers have written their essays about sons, so why sons are not included, I don’t know. Nevertheless, each one is an intelligent and moving look at the processes and the feelings involved in giving up a child, taking in a child, and living with the emotional issues that surround loving and losing, loving and gaining, and dealing with the physical and psychological difficulties that arise due to adoption itself.

Nothing Ever Good Happens to Me: An Adoption Love Story
Caroline Hassinger Lindsay, Child and Family Press, Washington, D.C., 1996.
An easy read for a tough story with a happy ending. We all need to know a happy ending, but it seems too sweet; the problems don’t seem to be presented in the concentrated realistic light that adoption can often be. It does, however, offer a sense of hope.

Adoption Nation
Adam Pertman, Basic Books, a Perseus Books Group, 2000. 258 pages.
Pertman is an adoptive father who weaves his feelings, (not just his wife’s and his experiences) to define the trials and tribulations involved in the steps toward adopting a child. With this, he ably tackles the political arena surrounding adoption; open adoptions; the changing face of America’s families due to International adoptions and non-traditional paths, such as gay parents and single fathers. Pertman tackles the history of single birth mothers and how society regards them; investigates the roles of birth fathers; and, he advocates for the feelings and legal rights of adoptees. He also looks at America’s evolving commitment to special needs children, financial troubles and resources in adoptive families, and, ways in which the general public regards adoptive parents/families. He has left no stone unturned (that I can think of) and he writes using case histories of people he has met and interviewed in his search for answers.

How to Adopt a Child From Another Country
Eileen M. Wirth & Joan Worden, Abingdon Press, Nashville, 1993.
Written from the viewpoint of two women who have been there, this is a step-by-step evaluation and anticipation of the process. Although it doesn’t seem to apply to IFAPA’s needs, there is a lot of information that can be helpful to any adoptive parent. Beginning with Chapter 8—“We Have a Child!”—tips are given for settling in and getting started with making a home into a family situation. In addressing the issue of foreign (international may be a better word) adoptions, the information can be interpreted to accommodate any child new to a community. There are strategies to help cope with changes in the lives of all involved. Chapter 20 lists foreign adoption agencies by state, which may be something useful to us further along in time.

Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child
Trish Maskew, Snowcap Press, 1999.
From working through the decision to adopt, to having adopted a child older than an infant, all the in-betweens are discussed in this book. Health and mental health issues, behaviors and discipline, and preserving your child’s culture are a few of the topics Maskew details. Abandonment and grief and the adjustments of both child and adoptive family are at the core of these writings that give us answers to hundreds of questions that adoptive parents mull over. This is a book for both intra-United States and international adoptions. The resource section is comprehensive and includes websites and recommended books.

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Attachment Disorders

Attachment disorder is common in foster care and adoption, occurring during the first years of life, due to early abuse, neglect, and loss of birth mother.  Attachment disorder can also occur if a child experienced ongoing medical problems and continual physical pain during their first year of life.  The degree of disorder can range from mild to severe and is directly related to the severity of early trauma that the child endured.   

Attachment disorder varies by degree of severity, and a thorough assessment by a therapist who is experienced with attachment disorder is imperative.  Traditional therapy methods are usually ineffective for children who struggle with attachment issues.  These children require specialized techniques taught to parents by trained therapists. 

Because children with attachment disorder require specialized parenting techniques, here is a list of resources that other foster and adoptive parents and professionals have found to be helpful in parenting children with these issues.  **IFAPA does not recommend or endorse any specific techniques for parenting children with attachment disorder, but advises to use caution and consult your child’s therapist and psychiatrist before implementing techniques to heal attachment disorder.   Please check with your child’s therapist before implementing any parenting program.

 BOOKS

"Attachment Disorganization"
Judith Solomon and Carol George, Editors, The Guilford Press, 1999. 420 pages.
This book represents new research written by a score of clinical researchers who define attachment disorganization and disorder. It covers all stages of childhood and every situation possible in which children are living with parents, not living with parents, or are in and out of the biological home. Mothers with mental illnesses, congenital physical illnesses, abuse in the home, and children with mental illnesses or congenital illnesses are only a few of the theories observed and followed through. It is an aid in categorizing the distinct effect of how severe the attachment disorganization may be and defines every possible level of the disorder.

"Fostering Changes: Treating Attachment-Disordered Foster Children"
Richard J. Delaney, Ph.D., Walter J. Corbett Publishing, 1991. 94 pages.
Although this book addresses the foster parent, it certainly is just as suitable for adoptive parents. Characteristics of the attachment-disordered child are given, as are the frustrations and often home-destructive tendencies. Case studies help to understand both the horror of families who opt to take in such a child and who fail, and the child’s continual reenactment of negative behaviors. Each type of possible behavior is defined and the reason for why each one exists is explained. Some positive outcomes are cited, which encourage parents to incorporate therapy and other types of help; not to go this route alone of working with the troubled child. He does write of success, after the children is allowed to open up to feelings—repeatedly. His ultimate message is that getting through to them takes work and time, but it is possible.

"Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children"
Daniel A. Hughes, Jason Aronson, Inc., 1998. 310 pages. (Iowa City Public Library) Containing commentaries that explain the psychological approach of therapy with an unattached child, this book is written in novel form as is as easily enjoyed. The readers follow the first eight years of Katie’s life beginning with the neglect and abuse she suffers with her biological parents. Through the unfolding of her life, we are shown why she cannot develop the mental, emotional, and developmental skills of a well cared for baby and child. The author takes us through her life in several foster homes, the last one being with a mother and father who are trained and understand how to work with such children. We also experience the therapy sessions in which the attitude of acceptance, empathy, love, curiosity, and playfulness are the interventions applied and which are continued in her healing foster home. Hughes is a clinical psychologist who uses a combination of therapies, including Deborah Hage, Richard DeLaney, and Frank Kunstal’s. He cites these professionals, and others, throughout the story in order to give others hope and examples to follow of how to successfully work with troubled children.

"Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents," Deborah D. Gray, Perspectives Press, Inc., 2002. 390 pages.
Reasons for children’s behaviors are explained in detail. The meaning of attachment problems is also explained in detail. After helping the reader/parents understand the meaning of these behaviors, tools for developing interventions are given. The effects of anxiety, cultural changes, diagnoses, such as ADHD, FAE/FAS, and learning disorders (to name a few), are also explained. Emotional intelligence and its failure to develop in children who have had early abuse and neglect are explained. And, ways to facilitate the development are laid out. The seven stages of attachment are given, and the necessity of parental self-care is enforced and ideas are listed for how to go about this. This book is appropriate for teenagers to read. Resources and bibliography are excellent. Without doubt, this is one of the very best books for parents who have children with difficult behaviors and special needs.

"When Love is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder" by Nancy L. Thomas
Thomas lays out a plan for parents to help children with severe emotional disturbances become respectful, responsible and fun to be with. She defines attachment disorder, then takes the reader through a step-by-step process to regain control of the child and the household. Thomas has more than 20 years experience in parenting children with RAD, ADHD, Tourette's syndrome and bipolar disorder. She claims her success rate using her parenting techniques with these kids is very high. Parents of children with RAD consistently cite this book as a life-saver. However, the reader must remember that Thomas does not have any professional mental health training, nor does she have any studies to back up her claims. Read with a discriminating eye, this is a useful book for parents of children with RAD. Parents of children with other problems may also get ideas of new techniques to try.

OTHER BOOKS TITLES TO CONSIDER:

“Children who Shock and Surprise: A Guide to Attachment Disorders” by Elizabeth Randolph

 “Broken Spirits, Lost Souls: Loving Children with Attachment and Bonding Difficulties” by Jane E. Ryan

 “Parenting Teens with Love and Logic” (updated and expanded edition) by Foster W. Cline and Jim Fay

 “Parenting with Love and Logic” (updated and expanded edition) by Foster W. Cline and Jim Fay

 “Real Parents, Real Children” by Holly Van Gulden

 “Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow” by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky

 “Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids: A Guide for Parents and Professionals” by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky

 “Becoming Attached, First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love” by Robin Karen

 “Theraplay: Helping Parents and Children Build Better Relationships Through Attachment-Based Play” by Ann Jernberg

Mental Health in Early Intervention: Achieving Unity in Principles and Practice  Edited by Gilbert M. Foley, Ed.D., & Jane D. Hochman Ed.D.
 

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Behaviors and Discipline

Insight Into Adoption: What Adoptive Parents Need to Know About the Fundamental Differences Between a Biological and an Adopted Child—And Its Effect on Parenting, Barbara Taylor Blomquist, Charles C.Thomas,Publisher, 2001.

If I were to read only three books about adoption, this would be one of them. Blomquist is a parent and she understands that there is a definite difference in emotions and behaviors between biological and adoptive children; her family consists of both kinds of kids. She has interpreted the behavioral language of the adopted child and has translated it for the rest of us. She suggests positive ways to handle misbehavior that get to the crux of the situation, rather than only dealing with the symptoms. This book is not a long read and the chapters are short and straight to the point.

(For girls only):

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
Mary Pipher, M.D., G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1994. 293 pages.
Mary Pipher gives a thorough look at the vulnerability of girls from about age 11 through the teenage years. Through anecdotes of different girls and their families, she explains how hormonal changes and today’s society can crush a young woman’s spirit unless they have continued support and guidance. Not only does she portray the many disconnections of this society, such as substance abuse, the media and sex, the male as superior, and others, she also gives us a look at women who remained strong during these years and were able to buck horrible circumstances. Or of those who abused and who did abuse themselves with drugs and alcohol and yet managed to become healthy grown women. Chapters devoted to how to guide and stay close to your teenage daughter are included, and these give excellent advice. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has a daughter, and especially for those who have an adopted daughter who has a history of neglect and abuse.

1-2-3 Magic, Effective Discipline for Children 2-12, Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D., Child Management, Inc., Glen Ellyn, Illinois, 1995. Not only effective, but absolutely amazing. This is an exercise in how to get kids to stop unacceptable behavior, or to begin doing what they need to be doing simply by counting. Phelan takes us through the steps necessary and gives examples that are routinely familiar to those of us who have children. For whatever the reason, this system works miracles. A definite read for the parents who need to gain control.

Raising a Thinking Preteen
Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D., Henry Holt and Company, 2000.
Dr. Shure discusses her “I Can Problem Solve” (ICPS) program for all 8-12 year olds. Children who have ADHD are included and she targets this group as getting the most help from this program as it helps children to accept responsibility and think for themselves. According to this approach, there are 4 different styles of parenting: explaining, power, suggesting and problem-solving. Children do best with ICPS because it annihilates the power struggle between children and authority figures. Case studies are presented and ways to begin and continue with the program through game playing in order to help the children understand the method. If you have children who have troubled memories or are reluctant to obey, this may be the method for you.

Life Strategies for Teens, Jay McGraw, Simon and Schuster, 2000. 236 pages. Jay McGraw is the son of Oprah’s Dr. Phil. He has written this book in the way of a workbook; readers work through thought-provoking questions by writing down the answers. Teens can decide to be winners or losers and he explicitly lays out a plan for them to become winners should they choose this way. He shows how to curb their behavior for all things in life in order to get what they want, and also to develop a good direction for their future.

Troubled Transplants. Unconventional strategies for helping disturbed foster and adoptive children, Richard Delaney, Ph.D. & Frank R. Kunstal, Ed.D., Woodn’Barnes, Oklahoma City, 166 pages.
The case studies are not to be taken lightly, nor are the methods that these two authors use to help troubled kids over the hoops. The maltreated child is described, as is what this type of child can do to break down the cohesiveness of a well-meaning family. Intervention treatments for both foster and adoptive parents are explained in detail. Delaney and Kunstal regard the child’s troubles as the core problem, rather than claiming the family as outlaw. Often the troubled child is the one who seems perfectly balanced in the public’s eye and has mastered driving their families to craziness. Both of these men have extensive knowledge and common sense that, when combined, seems to lay out some fine answers for all involved. These answers encourage verbalizing feelings on the part of the child while curbing the acting out behaviors. Sample goals and objectives are included.

The Healing Power of the Family: An Illustrated Overview of Life with the Disturbed Foster or Adopted Child, Richard J. Delaney, Ph.D., Wood ‘N’ Barnes Publishing, 1997. 117 pages.
The illustrations add humour to reality. Behavioral problems that accompany special needs children are identified and defined. The impact that these difficulties create in the family is described explicitly and realistically. (All adoptive dads should read this book!) Simple and creative behavior modifications, which also have a sense of lightness to them, are spelled out. Easily read and entertaining; this is a book for those who are not looking for quick answers, but don’t have the time to read a lot of more involved works.

Give Them Roots, Then Let Them Fly: Understanding Attachment Therapy
Carole A. McKelvey, M.A., Editor. Publisher: The Attachment Center at Evergreen, Inc., 1995. 280 pages.
This book is geared toward describing the Evergreen institution for foster and adoptive children and what takes place when undergoing therapy as inpatients. IFAPA DOES NOT CONDONE HOLDING THERAPY, which is the treatment Evergreen is most known for. HOWEVER, this work includes two articles by Deborah Sage (who gives workshops at the NACAC conference) that give practical advice and suggest behavioral therapies that introduce behavioral therapies parents can use at home to help children heal their wounds. Sage has excellent advice about how to control the child’s and your own anger.

Working with Traumatized Children: A Handbook for Healing, Kathryn Brohl, Child Welfare League of America, 1996. 105 pages.
Beginning with “Understanding Trauma and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder,” this book continues with recognition of the symptoms, and examines recovery and the healing process. All of these are presented with anecdotes and exercises for the reader to employ in order to make contact with her own mental and physical responses. These stages of recovery and healing are reviewed in order to build resilience and enable the individual to gain control of her life.

Respectful Parenting: From Birth Through the Terrific Twos
Joanne Baum, Ph.D., 2001. 181 pages.
Easy reading and helpful information. Learning styles of both parent and child is addressed. Disciplining yourself and your child, dealing with frustrations, helping your child deal with transitions, and what to do when your strategies don’t work are some of the topics.  Written in a very straight-forward manner, it makes a lot of sense. It may even be helpful for parents of older children.

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Developmental Stages and Delays

The Family of Adoption, Joyce Maguire Pavao, Beacon Press Boston, 1998.  In 1997, Dr. Pavao was asked to write a letter to the Children’s Bureau for President Clinton’s initiative on Adoption 2002. That letter is included as an epilogue in this book. Dr. Pavao is an adoptee and she understands the stages of development of children from infancy through adolescence. She also understands those stages of development for an adopted child, beginning as far back as the birth parents’ decisions due to the fate of their actions. This book begins with understanding the birth parent(s), especially the mom. The second chapter gives insight into the needs and dreams of the adoptive parents. And then, by chronological groupings, she helps us to understand the thoughts and behaviors that accompany the adopted child’s developmental journey, through anger, loyalty, humor, loss, and the spirit. All of this is accomplished by Pavao’s use of clinical accounts based on the families and individuals she has worked with, including herself, throughout the years. It is insightful, informative, and filled with hope for those of us—adoptees, or adoptives—who are frustrated and searching for answers.

Child Development: Putting the Pieces Together
Vera Fahlberg, M.D., Michigan Department of Social Services, 1982. This is a workbook, initially written for social workers; however, it is a thinking guide for adoptive and foster parents, too. The stages of normal development are laid out and case histories of children who have been removed from birth homes and placed in other homes are cited. Woven within these stories are the keys to why and how children become delayed emotionally or physically. Information is given about how foster and adoptive parents can meet the needs of these delays through understanding the behaviors and reacting with positive measures.

Real Parents, Real Children; Parenting the Adopted Child, Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb, Crossroad Publishers, New York, 2000.
Holly Van Gulden is an adoptee and an adoptive parent and an adoption counselor. Her book is an updated, illustrated version of Vera Fahlberg’s workbook on developmental delays. However, this book also goes to the depth of feelings and behaviors over the span of time from infancy through adolescence. The authors address issues of neglect, abuses, grief and loss, learning to love again, attachment, and all possible avenues that are affected by a child’s separation from the birth family. Dealing with emotional issues about the birth family and relating to the birth family are included in this volume. The adopted child’s functioning in school is another avenue that is broached. This is a must for adoptive families: it is a guide to building a healthy family despite behavior barriers. Information to help international and transracial adoptions mature is also included. As are the emotions of an adopted child, all issues are intertwined in the writing. And the bibliography is also resourceful!

On BASE! The Step-by-Step Self-Esteem Program for Children from Birth to 18, Barb Friedmann and Cheri Brooks, editors, Westport Publishers, Inc., 1990. 201 pages.
This book contains the developmental stages of babies through teenagers and what characteristics to expect at what ages. BASE is a program through which married and living together parents (or for when one parent is living somewhere other than the child’s primary home), the teacher(s), the daycare provider, and interacting relatives or friends work together in order to keep activities and rules consistent for the child. Suggestions for how to talk to the child regarding various different topics and exercises for discipline and family togetherness are listed. Each section contains a brief account of ways adults can serve as good role models. Informative and quick, easy reading.

Behaviorally Troubled Children, Adolescents & Young Adults: A Manual and Working Book Using a Developmental Approach, Leah S. Taylor, Ph.D., Lynn Wendelbo, M.Ed., Wood & Barnes Publishing, 1997. 122 pages.
This manual deals with the emotional, social, cognitive, moral, and physical “fixed” stages of development in troubled children and adolescents. Treatment is based upon Freudian and neo-Freudian theorists. Each stage begins with a definition, proceeds to “Major Tasks,” and builds into “Characteristics and Behaviors of Individuals Fixed at this level.” Treatment implications are given based upon the major tasks guidelines, and ends with a summary of treatment. These are brief--to say the least—allowing the book to work simply as an introduction to what seems to be a much more complicated and in-depth therapy. The reference section is short and what works are cited date from years past.

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Diet

Vegetarian Children, A Supportive Guide for Parents, Sharon Yntema, McBooks Press, Ithaca, New York, 171 pages.
This book is included NOT to advocate parents to make vegetarians out of their children, rather because the information about child development and nutrition is invaluable. Charts that contain amounts of vitamins and minerals children need at different ages and foods and recipes that most children will readily eat are included.

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Fiction (adult)

The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd, Penguin Books, 2002
Lily Owens lost her mother at age four. She lives with her abusive father until her “stand-in-mother” refuses to submit to a group of men who are Negro-haters. Rosaleen is put in jail and beaten and Lily breaks her out. They both run away to another community. There they move in with a family of black sisters who run a honeybee farm and who believe in the divine power of Black Mary. Through the love that the sisters and their community give, Lily learns the true story about her birth mom and about the love and security that an adopted family is capable of. Set in South Carolina in the 1960s, this is an incredible story about the power of love, and the female spirit.

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Health

The World of Children’s Sleep
Alexander Z. Golbin, M.D., Ph.D., Michaelis Medical Publishing Corporation, 1995.
Is your child having sleep troubles and you’ve given them warm milk, hot tea, Tylenol, therapy, everything you know possible to soothe them? This book discusses abnormal sleep patterns and when these become a disorder and how they relate to daytime behavioral and mental disorders. Preventions are suggested and tips are given for parents of children with disorders. The resource includes children’s books.

(For ages 10 to adult):

It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health
Robie H. Harris, illustrated by Michael Emberley, Candlewick Press, 1994. 89 pages.
Written with a touch of humor and illustrated with some wonderful cartoons, this book explains the facts of life from the bird and the bee. It’s the kind of book that can take the fear out of the most terrified of parents! It’s a well thought out gift for a child and parent to share in order to teach about sex and differences in physical looks, and in personalities, and to take the edge off of the nerves while working with your child. Highly recommended (but not for the fundamentalist.)

Dr. Ruth Talks to Kids
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Aladdin Paperbacks, 1993. In the plain and simple matter-of-fact language that Dr. Ruth is famous for, she addresses pubescence and adolescence in terms of physical and emotional changes. The tone is one of sitting down and exchanging experiences; the words are written warmly and with care. The body’s changes in girls and boys, feelings about and dealing with same sex and opposite-sex friendships, relationships between boys and girls and first dates, crushes and first loves, sexual intercourse, contraception, all types of sexual abuse, heterosexuality and homosexuality, and eating disorders are included in the information. A constant reassurance about normalcy despite differences from girl to girl and boy to boy is reinforced. The idea of this, of course, is to allay any fears that young adults may develop about their own bodies, especially if they are reluctant to discuss these fears with someone more knowledgeable.

“Where Did I Come From?”
The facts of life without any nonsense and with illustrations, Peter Mayle, Carol Publishing Group, 1977. Written for elementary-aged children, this is a delightful, humorous approach to explaining the facts of life. It begins with pointing out the different part of the male and female bodies, without going into a lot of explanation. The fact that all bodies are different, some being fat, some thin, etc., and that all are normal and perfectly fine is stressed. How babies begin, development in the uterus, and birth are explained and illustrations are included, which are helpful in forming a complete picture of understanding in a child’s mind.

Too Scared to Cry: Psychic Trauma in Childhood
Lenore Terr, M.D., Harper and Row, 1990.
Basing her research on several traumatic happenings circa 1976, Terr does follow-up on the child victims over several years. What she finds is that trauma, whether directly or indirectly experienced changes a person’s life perspective and expectations. Without treatment, the child or eventual adult will be locked into repetitions of constantly reexperiencing the trauma and is not able to go forward. This is especially true of those who are consistently abused or who have to watch abuse. This book explains the human infatuation with trauma and why the public craves fiction in books and movies. It also helps the reader understand the traumatized child and gives advice about helping the child/adolescent/adult. Some psychological terms, such as multiple personalities and dissociation are also explained.

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Sexual Abuse

Too Scared to Cry: Psychic Trauma in Childhood
Lenore Terr, M.D., Harper and Row, 1990.
Basing her research on several traumatic happenings circa 1976, Terr does follow-up on the child victims over several years. What she finds is that trauma, whether directly or indirectly experienced changes a person’s life perspective and expectations. Without treatment, the child or eventual adult will be locked into repetitions of constantly reexperiencing the trauma and is not able to go forward. This is especially true of those who are consistently abused or who have to watch abuse. This book explains the human infatuation with trauma and why the public craves fiction in books and movies. It also helps the reader understand the traumatized child and gives advice about helping the child/adolescent/adult. Some psychological terms, such as multiple personalities and dissociation are also explained.

Treating the Aftermath of Sexual Abuse: A Handbook for Working with Children in Care
M. Osmond, d. Durham, A. Leggett, J. Keating, Child Welfare League of America, 1998. 166 pages.
Beginning with “The Impact of Sexual Abuse on Children,” the why of the child victim is examined. Just about every possible negative effect that sexual abuse can impose upon a child is explored, and is helpful in understanding the child who has survived this abuse. It is mainly a handbook for mental health professionals to use in conjunction with a healing foster family; therefore, some of the treatments are not appropriate to the needs of individual families. It also does not address the issue of a child who was too young to remember, or who cannot verbalize the abuse. It does include an informative table about the effects of abuse on a child’s cognitive and emotional development.

Treating Abused Adolescents
Eliana Gil, The Guilford Press, 1996, 216 pages. This book is intended for therapists and social workers, however, experienced foster and adoptive families may find it quite helpful. Gil states, “adolescents with histories of victimization have sustained emotional injuries that affect their sense of identity, their future orientation, their feelings of safety, their ability to trust, and so forth.” In this, she explains how these feelings work within her clients and how to reach them, how to break through the pretenses and protective behaviors. Although she cites all types of abuse in the book, she deals extensively with sexual abuse. And, she also discusses adolescents who have developed dissociative behavior as a result of the abuse.

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Special Needs Children – Caring For

One Small Starfish: A Mother's Everyday Advice, Survival Tactics & Wisdom for Raising a Special Needs Child, Anne Addison, Future Horizons, 2003. The title explains the contents in a nutshell. Addison carries the reader through the first eight years of her son's life, which includes the future plans she and her husband had for him when he was born to the acceptance of his limitations. Jack has ADHD, a slight form of asperger syndrome, and he was evaluated for bipolar disorder. Addison shares her journal of feelings, and the troubles and help that professionals gave them along the way. In this way, she is helpful to the parents of other special needs children. We learn questions to ask and things to watch out for, as well as ways to take care of ourselves and ways to teach our children socialization skills and other skills they will need in life. There are also samples of letters that were written to teachers and counselors when Jack was introduced to new schools, classrooms, and situations; notes to babysitters; notes about his behaviors when meds were changed; letters to insurance companies; and, all correspondence that went to professionals and caregivers in Jack's life. All of these are helpful in keeping track of a special needs child's records and welfare. Also included is a thorough resource section for organizations that help with and give information out on learning disabilitlies, ADHD, PDD (pervasive developmental disorder), and bipolar disorder.

When Love Is Not Enough
(How Mental Health Professionals Can Help Special-Needs Adoptive Families)
Marian Sandmaier & Family Service of Burlington County, Mt. Holly, New Jersey, Child Welfare League of America, 1988. 82 pages.
The very essence of adoption is discussed in the book; how society’s attitude about adoption has changed over the years. It discusses the needs of newly adoptive families, beginning with the adjustment period, and how it affects the parents, the biological siblings, and the newly adopted children. It has brief definitions of a child’s initial problems that can cause problems, such as separation, loss and attachment, abuse and neglect, and disabilities. It addresses how parents may feel when they do not get the “ideal” or “dream” child. Support systems and the need for therapy, the lack of immediate family support and these effects on the adoptive family are discussed. Suggestions to begin healing are included, and so are state-by-state resources, national organizations, and private organizations that deal with adoptions. The bibliography is informational, too.

The Explosive Child-A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated “Chronically Inflexible” Children
Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., Harper-Collins Publishers, 1998. 342 pages.
Greene presents us with the child who cannot change gears, who becomes belligerent, foul mouthed, and out-of-control when presented with an issue she thinks she cannot do, or perhaps when she is told to stop one activity and do something else. She does not react kindly to directions and blows up, losing all ability to reason. This book explains how these children think and how they cannot help their reactions. Greene works on a principal that most of these children who have “meltdowns” are not in power struggle; they just simply cannot deal with issues in the same manner as the majority of persons. Therefore, we readjust our inflexible agendas in order to prepare these children to change gears. This is a Basket Theory: A, B, and C. Safety issues that cannot be compromised are Basket A. Basket B holds those that are important and can be negotiated. Basket C holds everything not worth the risk of a meltdown. Both the child and the families must learn the art of negotiation and the family members must learn how to diffuse an on-coming explosion. Greene also has chapters that teach the family how to deal with the schools and the teachers. He states that eventually these children learn to diffuse and negotiate on their own through this type of intervention. Without it, they often stay this way for their entire lives. Good book. Good resource section, too.

Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special Needs Kids
Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D. and Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, Pinion Press, 1995. 255 pages.
What to expect from children who come from within the system; how their inner hurting affects behaviors and mental abilities is one topic included in this book. Keck and Kupecky deal with adopting and family adjustment, bonding and attachment difficulties, the crucial need to hang in there with these kids (because it will get better), helping the child develop a history and talking with her about her adoption and birth family, and treatment. [They do suggest holding therapy (although not the radical birth Holding therapy) and IFAPA does not endorse Holding Therapy.] important is a chapter devoted solely to that of siblings: “The Old, the New, the FEELINGS!” This is helpful for anyone who adopts a sibling group, or who already has biological or adoptive children when they adopt (again). One chapter gives advice for how to become a parent and stay the parent, or how to stay in control and how to take care of yourself. Other chapters deal with success stories, and what happens to children and the adoptive families when the adoption doesn’t work out. Helpful in many ways.

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
Gregory C Keck, Ph.D., and Regina M. Kupecky, L.S.W., Piñon Press, 2002
This, the second book of Keck and Kupecky, concentrates on the nurturing of the hurt child and directs parents in how to encourage attachment. Reactive Attachment Disorder is defined and what works in therapy and what does not is explained. There are also tips for finding a good therapist for a child who has attachment problems. Parenting techniques are explained: what works and what doesn’t and many exercises and games to play with the child to promote a healthy attachment are listed. There is information about the child’s school performance and how to relate to teachers and other educators about attachment disorders. Stories from children and parents who have “been there” and excellent resources are included. This book is a must for families who are dealing with an unattached child.

Adopting and Advocating for the Special Needs Child
L. Anne Babb and Rita Laws, Bergin & Garvey, 1997. 253 pages.
Part I deals with becoming familiar with adoption and going through the process. Parts II and III work with the difficulties involved in becoming a family. Both parent and child points of view are included. Special Needs and how these can form a family and the importance of support in all aspects are looked at. What to expect, where to go for help in technical problems, troubles operating within the system, and professional interventions are all given a remarkable amount of attention in a few pages. Highly recommended.

Once Upon a Time…Therapeutic Stories that Teach and Heal
Nancy Davis, Ph.D.
www.selfesteemshop.com, 1990. 588 pages.
This is written for victims of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is filled with metaphors and imagery that are intended for the right brain to process. The left brain, as Davis explains, has to analyze stories and this ruins the healing process. These stories are intended for all ages and for foster and adopted children, too. The author has worked with abused children, rape victims, battered women, and victims of violence, such as the survivors of Oklahoma City.
Lighting the Way, Edited by National Court Appointed Special Advocate Assoc., Child Welfare League of America, 2002. 94 pages. A compilation of short essays from CASA workers throughout the country. Each one details why and how they became involved in working for the children and each cites a successful case. Heartwarming and encouraging.

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Transracial Adoption

Different and Wonderful: Raising Black Children in a Race-Conscious Society
Dr. Darlene Powell Hopson and Dr. Derek S. Hopson, Prentice Hall Press, 1990.
Written for an African-American family audience, this book is for all whose lives are touched by Black children. This is a helpful guide to face our own subconscious “taboos;” to help children be proud of themselves as Black Americans; even if they live in a predominantly white culture; to guide teenagers with sexuality issues that also deal with race and peer pressure; to find daycare that’s appropriate for Black children; and, many more issues to help strengthen families and understand other races and ethnic groups. There is also an excellent resource that sites, books, videos, websites, games, and so forth.

Inside Transracial Adoption
by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall, Perspectives Press, 2000.  Written by the founders of Pact, An Adoption Alliance, this book is informative and heart warming. These authors have given their lives to adopted children of different races and are now teaching parents of children of other races what they learned the hard way. They address the issues of Native American, African American, Asian, Hispanic, and bi-racial children and adoption. Learning to appreciate the child’s culture and helping the child be a part of their native culture is the goal. Hall and Steinberg advocate that adoptive parents who are of a different race than that of their adoptive child learn about the culture and assimilate it into the family’s every day life. Many examples and ways to do this to the benefit of the children are cited. This is as important in this day and age as it is to raise a child with good self-esteem, and the two go hand-in-hand. Also included after each chapter are suggested readings that are categorized for each race and culture.

Parenting Resource Manual: Transracial Parenting Project
compiled by Susan Cunningham, B.A. and Jeanette Wiedemeier Bower, M.P.A.. The North American Council on Adoptable Children, July 1998. 296 pages.
Issues that families need to address before choosing a child of another race, culture, or ethnicity are discussed. Ways to raise a transracial child that are most beneficial for her or him, and ways that black and white communities can come together for the children raised by a family of another culture are discussed. Parenting skills for foster and adoptive parents are outlined in several articles. There are articles about hair, skin, and diet for children of color. Dealing with the problem and trauma of racism and how best to handle some situations that can arise because of it are addressed. There is also information about cultural camps and what to expect from them, as well as a list of some in the United States. An excellent resource directory is included. Articles by adopted transracial children and the feelings they’ve faced while growing up in white families are particularly interesting. I found this book interesting, highly informative, and of an easy reading level. It is not a book just for African-American children, but for children of any race and culture.

Transracial Adoption and Foster Care: Practice Issues for Professionals
Joseph Crumbley, Child Welfare League of America Press, 1999. 158 pages.
The article, “Developing Positive Racial Identity,” (Adoptive Families, Sept/Oct. 1999) was based on this book and written by the same author. An excellent book! Crumbley suggests this as use for professionals, however, it is ideal for foster and adoptive parents, too. Understanding racial and cultural identity, and recognizing the impact of transracial adoption (his words) provide the fodder for the first 21 pages. After that, the book builds on these two crucial issues and provides instruction for preparing children and parents for adoption. The fact that transracial children need their heritage and culture in order to develop a positive identity is continually stressed. Ways in which professionals can aid adoptive and foster families to carry through with giving each child their right to their identity are presented in a clear, straight-forward manner. Suggested references and cited references are plentiful and well worth the time to look through them.

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Neurological Disorders
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD and ADHD)

ADHD: What Every Parent Wants to Know
David L. Wodrich, Paul H. Brookes Publishing Company, 2000.
285 pages. Reading this book from front to back gives a more insightful look at AD/HD, however, it would be easy to read chapters independently and still learn a lot. The definition of ADHD and a step-by-step guide to its diagnostics are the build-in to behavior management at home and at school. Tips to finding the best school for your child and the ins and outs of special education (IEPs and Section 504) are explained in lay terms. All medications for ADHD and the properties of each one and what it does for the brain makes up one chapter, and in this is also explained how professionals decide what med should be given to a child and how the medications can interact in the child’s brain. A chapter is devoted to classroom techniques for working with these children and also to counseling and other interventions. Recommended read!

The Attention Deficit Child
Dr. Grant Martin, Chariot Victor Publishing, 1998 (2nd printing). 239 pages.
Highly recommended! Dr. Martin is thorough in his assessments and explanation of childhood ADD (ADHD). He also cautions that if your child is a foster child, or is adopted, proceed slowly and thoroughly in gathering evidence to diagnosis her as ADD; often the behaviors apparent from neglect and abuse and attachment disorder can cause symptoms similar to ADD. Even so, a guide to all the diagnostic implements and tests that are used to determine this disorder is included. Also included are: working successfully with school personnel and methods for setting up positive educational instruction; how to find knowledgeable mental health professionals and doctors; types of medications and the pros and cons of each; techniques of parenting ADD children; and, spiritual guidance for dealing with the disorder. Excellent resources are included, too.

Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome

Video – Autism and the New Law. Resources for Treatment. Hope for a Cure.
Edvantage Publishers, 2000.
This video is designed to help parents, educators and health care professionals better understand Autism or similar diagnoses, such as Pervasive Development Disorder (PDD) and Asperger’s Syndrome. The video teaches about the componenets of The Advancement of Pediatric Autism Research Act, a subtitle of the Children’s Health Act of 2000. This law was passed to find more effective treatments and even a cure for autism.

Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder
(A Mother’s Story of Research and Recovery)
Karyn Seroussi, Simon & Schuster, 2000. 288 pages.
Karyn’s boy was diagnosed with autism at nineteen-months-old. She is a journalist and her husband is a research scientist.  Together they discovered that the onset was due to an immune system breakdown that coincided with his vaccinations. This makes the digestive system unable to process certain proteins, which in turn leads to abnormal brain development. This is a page turner for two reasons: 1) simply wanting to know how their fight with the medical system turned out, and 2) to develop an increased knowledge about the depth of autism and that it can be cured, or held in check, if the diagnosis is made at a young age. Their stamina and insistence that they knew their own child is an inspiration for all parents. Questions about autism and the now-known causes are answered. Recipes for diets to help children and a list of how to find ingredients are included.

The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome
Patricia Romanowski Bashe and Barbara L. Kirby, Crown Publishers, New York, 2001.
468 pages. OASIS is an acronym for Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support Web Site. The two women who authored this book founded the web site. The book is a comprehensive guide for those parents who might suspect that their child has Asperger. It details what to look for; what to keep in mind; who to go to for a diagnosis; what to tell and what to ask the professionals; how to work with educators; and, understanding the ins and outs of special education, including understanding FAPE, IDEA, and IEPs and Section 504. One chapter lists all the types of medications that can be given to children and explains what they are, why they are used and possible side effects. Interventions in socialization and ways to teach an Asperger child basic social concepts at home and at school are given. Helping your child through adolescence and into adulthood is discussed. Each of the authors has a child with Asperger and the book is written with warmth, compassion, and guidance to help parents with the range of emotions that accompany accepting a diagnosis and day-to-day living with an Asperger child. What is best for the child is always at the forefront of information.

Eating an Artichoke; A Mother’s Perspective on Asperger Syndrome
Echo R. Fling, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2000. 208 pages.
The author is a journalist and her first-born has Asperger Syndrome. It took her and her husband a number of years to find the correct diagnosis for him. He was often misdiagnosed as having ADHD. She tells about the headaches and the heartaches and learning to accept his behavior. It took some time to stop hoping that he could be a child with a different world in his future. She tells about learning how to teach him and all the dealings with professionals, good and bad. She likens finding his diagnosis as to that of eating an artichoke: one has to peel back all the thorny layers until the heart of the matter is discovered. A very touching and enlightening book.

*The Autistic Spectrum, A Parent’s Guide to Understanding and Helping Your Child
Lorna Wing, M.D., Ulysses Press, 2001. 217 pages.

Reweaving the Autistic Tapestry: Autism
Asperger Syndrome & ADHD, Lisa Blakemore-Brown, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2002.
This book explains the differences between the autistic population, ADHD, NVD (Non-verbal difficulties), dyspraxic (motor planning or coordination problems), and some other PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) groups, and other commonly coexisting disorders. Concentration is on the early interaction issues of autism and ADHD, effects of social engagement upon the individual and society. Attention is paid to how the system (schools, medical institutions, and so forth) ignore the diagnosis and what parents can do to get what their child needs from the professionals. Understanding of the child’s problems and checklists of behaviors and motor skills are included to help parents make detailed observations in order to present convincingly to the medical and psychological world. Possible interventions and what parents should expect from professionals in the form of help, of teaching, and of dealing with each child as an individual are explained in detail.

Asperger’s Syndrome: a Guide for Parents and Professionals
Tony Attwood, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London, 1998. 201 pages.
Written for parents and professionals alike who are unfamiliar with this disorder, the book explicitly details the symptoms of Asperger’s. Minute neurological differences between Asperger’s and ADHD are cited. Specifics that parents might observe, and then discuss with medical and psychological professionals are given. Pointers for discipline and motivation in the classroom are cited, as well as ways for the parent to communicate with the child’s classroom teacher and other pertinent educators. This is a good all-around book that encourages parents and educators to seek professional guidance and a specific diagnosis once they have a better understanding of the disorder and suspect that their child may have the symptoms.

Bipolar Children

The Bipolar Child
Demitri Papolos, M.D., and Janice Papolos, Broadway Books, NY, 1999. 398 pages.
Characteristics of bipolar disease in children are explained in detail as are the whys of misdiagnosis, including the similarity of the disorder to ADHD and schizophrenia (as two examples). Advice on how to select medical and psychiatric help is cited. The difference between bipolar children and adults is investigated. Anecdotes cited from parents and children who have lived with the extreme mood disorder aid the reader in better understanding the condition. The neurological makeup of the brain is illustrated and discussed; regions in which the bipolar disorder affects the mind and body are explained. There is a section concerning how to write up an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for the bipolar child and how to present it to school personnel, including legal information and advice. A chapter on dealing with adolescents who have bipolar disorder is included. Encouragement and ways to seek support for parents is consistent throughout the book. Highly recommended for anyone who suspects they have a bipolar child, or who knows their child is bipolar.

Journey Not Chosen…Destination Not Known
Mary Worthen, August House Publishers, 2001, 111 pages.
This is a valuable source of support and information for persons with bipolar disorder and for their families. Mary Worthen shares the wrenching story of discovering that her daughter, Kristy, has bipolar disorder and Kristy follows up with this by describing her experiences with the disorder. Their honest description of their struggles to come to terms with this disease may help other families with similar issues. The book contains an easy-to-read description of bipolar, what can be done about it, how it affects the person who has the illness and their loved ones, and contains suggestions for moving beyond the illness. Resource materials include information on the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) and other organizations, fact sheets on mental illness, and a comprehensive glossary of medical terms. Highly recommended.

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Non-Fiction – Personal Essays

The Blood Runs Like a River Through My Dreams
a memoir by Nasdijj, Houghton Mifflin Company, 2000.
Nasdijj is a Native American. He adopted his son, who had FAS (fetal alcohol symdrome, and who dies. This is an honest and stunning look at the hard life of some American Indians and of those whose lives are affected by alcohol. It’s intelligently written and done so in a majestic way that compels the reader to keep turning the pages. It is a search for how life works; it is a search for self. It is sadly beautiful and well worth the read.

A Man Named Dave
Dave Pelzer, Dutton Books, 1999.
This is the last book in a trilogy. The first two are A Child Called “It” and The Lost Boy. Dave Pelzer is a man who grew out of a child who was severely abused by his birth mother and abandoned (until older) by his birth father. He was taken from his home at the age of twelve and placed with foster parents. He is now a man who travels, giving speeches and working for the betterment of children. However, it took him many years of searching and trying to discover the good in himself to get to a point where he could help others. His story is phenomenal and the forgiveness that he is able to manage toward his birth family is a good lesson for us all.

The Broken Cord by Michael Dorris
In his powerful first-person narrative, Dorris describes his journey of adopting and parenting his son, Adam, a Native American child who was eventually diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Dorris walks us through his son's youth as he struggles to help Adam overcome his many disabilities. But as Dorris learns more about FAS, he realizes Adam will never be whole. The Broken Cord touches on many issues: alcohol abuse in Native American communities, social and health policies regarding pregnant women who use drugs and/or alcohol, lifelong care of children with FAS, parenting a child with a disability, anger with the birthparent, and more. The Broken Cord won a National Book Critics Circle Award in 1989.

Another Place at the Table
Kathy Harrison, Tarcher/Putnam Publishers, 2003
Kathy Harrison and her husband, Bruce, have been foster parents for several years in the state of Massachusetts. She write about the children they have adopted and some of the most memorable children they have fostered. She writes about the system, how it works and where it doesn’t. She writes about dealing with birth parents—the good and the bad of it. And most importantly, she writes why she wanted to foster and how she has found her own identity in fostering children. This book is hard to put down. For any person who has fostered or adopted, Kathy understands us; her will and her emotions are universal.

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Books for Children

A is for Adoption

Author: Karen Koenig, Illustrations by: Julie Houghton (Iowa Resident), 2007

The words in A is for Adoption reflect 19 years of adoptive parent experience.  This book explains adoption language with compassion and beauty using child friendly imagery.  The rich illustrations bring sparkle and life to the words.  This adoption book is meant to be a shared experience between parent and child.  It will satisfy the natural curiosity the young child has about being adopted, and it will nurture and enrich the dialog of adoptive families.  It is the hope of the author that the family will internalize the words and illustrations for a lifetime of meaning and memories.  The language and illustration will take on new meaning as the child and family grow in their understanding of what it means to be an adoptive family.  The ABC format and vivid illustrations create a colorful, meaningful and sensitive explanation of adoption.  It is a book every adoptive family will want in their library.

The Coffee Can Kid
Jan M. Czech, Child Welfare League of America, 2002.
About an adoption from China, this book is important to all adopted children. It expresses the unselfish love and caring a birth mother has in looking to the future of her child. It has to do with the wonder and growing understanding of her own adoption in a little girl's world. And, it emphasizes the importance of a(n) (adoptive) father in a child's life.

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes
Jane Dyer, Little, Brown and Company, 2000.
The author chronicles the adoption of her own child from what she felt was missing in her life, to the trip to China to find her daughter, to bringing the child home, to their life together. Full of love and beautifully written. The illustrations are pleasing, too.

The Mulberry Bird, Story of an Adoption
Anne Braff Brodzinsky, Perspectives Press, Indianapolis, Indiana, fifth printing 1991.
45 pages, including illustrations. Written in simple language and in a caring tone, this book explains a mother bird’s need to find new parents for her child whom she loves dearly and for whom she can no longer provide for. The illustrations are in black and white and of a full 5-1/2 x 8” page, alternating with a page of text. The drawings convey the words of the story. Highly recommended.

Beneath Her Gentle Wings
Mona McElderry, Wings, an imprint of SISU Press, Minnesota, 1995.
19 pages, including illustrations. A simple story about a hen who cannot fly and who finds a baby sparrow that she takes under her wings and raises. With the work of others in her community the little bird learns how to fly.

Did My First Mother Love Me?
Kathryn Ann Miller, Morning Glory Press, 1994.
47 pages. A little girl asks her adoptive mother about the birth mom. The mother takes out a letter from the girl’s birth mom and it explains very simply how much she indeed loved her child—so much so that she wanted her to be loved and to grow up happy and those were things she wouldn’t have been able to offer. This book also has a section for adoptive parents about talking to your child about being adopted.

Adoption is for Always
Linda Walvoord Girard, Albert Whitman and Company, 1986.
28 pages with illustrations. The text of this book is longer than most illustrated children’s books. A little girl discovers that she is adopted and she feels bad and acts out. The story is about how the parents deal with her behavior and how she comes to accept adoption as the happiness of her life.

Being Adopted
Maxine B.Rosenberg, Lothrop, Lee & Shepard Books, 1984.
22 pages with photographs. Several children were interviewed and parts of each one’s story is interwoven to make this book. In simple and few words the children’s fears about joining a family they didn’t know and the rewarding outcome of becoming part of a loving and helpful family tell the story of being adopted. This includes transracial and transcultural adoptions and families.

We Adopted You
Benjamin Koo, Linda Walvoord Girard, Albert Whitman and Company, 1989.
28 pages with illustrations. Benjamin Koo was born in Korea and was adopted in the U.S. as a small baby. He talks about his beginnings and his acceptance into his family. He felt the same as everyone until he went to school when he suddenly realized that he was Korean and there were no other kids like him. He became angry with his adoptive mom; he did not want to obey her but he discovered that she truly was his mom because she took care of him and loved him. Then his parents adopted a little girl from Brazil and this time he was old enough to understand the legalization of adoption, which helped get him through his adoption troubles. He talks about dealing with mean kids at school and prejudice comments, too. This is a highly recommended book for transracial and transcultural families.

Help is on the Way; a Child’s Book About ADD
Marc A. Nemiroff, PhD., Jane Annunziata, PsyD., Magination Press, 1998.
59 pages with illustrations. The illustrations is this book are attention getting! The context is information both for kids and parents: each aspect of ADD is explained and it states that it is not the child’s fault. Interventions are also explained. There is an epilogue that speaks to parents and defines the basic symptoms of ADD and how help can be acquired both for the parents and for the children. An excellent book.

The A.D.D.Book for Kids
Shelley Rotner and Sheila Kelly, Ed.D., The Millbrook Press, 2000.
28 pages with photographs. Very few words are used. The words are put with photos to explain that children will understand that others know how they feel when they have ADD, and there are ways to help the children feel successful and good about themselves. A note for parents and teachers is enclosed and a list of resources for parents and teachers is included.

The Busy Mom
Sharon Murphy Yates, Child Welfare League of America, 2001.
28 pages with illustrations. A busy mother rushes to get her little boy into bed and realizes how many things she does and how precious her son and the time she has to spend with him are. She relates this to him as she sits with him.

Waiting for Mr. Goose
Laurie Lears, Albert Whitman and Company, 1999.
30 pages with illustrations. Book for children with AD/HD. Stephen has trouble sitting still and paying attention and he always feels bad because someone is always mad at him. One day he sits still long enough to capture an injured goose and is able to help the animal. The book includes a note from the author about children who have difficulty staying focused.

I Love You Just the Way You Are
Virginia Miller, Candlewick Press, 1998.
24 pages with illustrations.When the going gets tough for Bartholomew, it’s comforting for him to know that George is always there for him—and will love him through all his moods.

Sammy Sitstill;How Sammy Feels About Attention Deficit Disorder and What He Does About It,
Dr. Catherine Thompson, Crescent Publications, 2000.
35 pages with illustrations Dr. Thompson works with children who have AD/HD. The book is written in rhyme and it starts out with all the things that Sammy has to listen to everyday that make him feel bad. Then he meets a doctor who doesn’t tell him what he can’t do, rather the doctor tells him all the things he could do so that he will be liked and his life won’t be so miserable. A parents’ section is included, too.

Grandpa, Is Everything Black Bad?
Sandy Lynne Holman, The Culture CO-OP publishers, 1998.
31 pages with illustrations.This is not just a kid’s book for Black children. This is a book for all parents to read to their children and for all children to read. This is a simple, yet powerful story that tells about Black children, born in a society that tries to teach everyone that Black is bad, that everything Black is not bad. It tells that self love a the most precious gift and that Black people have a glorious heritage, and that the African spirit is undying and it has contributed to the goodness of our society. The illustrations are beautiful, too.

Hope
Isabel Monk, Carolrhoda Books, Inc., 1999.
Hope, a girl born of mixed races, learns about her rich biracial heritage. This book helps children to see themselves with pride and self respect. It is rich in the value of faith, the strength of family, and the power of storytelling.

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Books for Teenagers

Rodzina, by Karen Cushman (Newberry Medal Winner), Clarion Books. Fiction
Rodzina is a parentless Polish American girl forced to travel from Chicago to California on an "orphan train" in 1881. Rodzina isn't sure she wants a new family, yet this 12-year-old refuses to show fear to her seemingly callous chaperones and the ragtag pack of waifs who share her plight. "Being scared, like having lice, was something one was supposed to keep to oneself," she tells us.Rodzina is a complex character who can be as uncharitable as she is affecting. Family comes in all forms through Rodzina's eyes.

Pictures of Hollis Woods
Patricia Reilly Giff, Wendy Lamb Books (Random House Publishers), 2002. Fiction
Hollis, a twelve-year-old orphan, has been sent from foster home to foster home due to her behavior. When she finally finds a family she loves and who loves her, she makes a big mistake. Afraid that the family will request that she moves on because of what she has done, she runs away in order to have control and abandon them first. Slowly, and with the help of an older woman who is losing her memory, Hollis finds her way back to her “forever” family.

Heaven
Angela Johnson, Simon & Schuster, 1998. Coretta Scott King Award. Fiction—Young Adult
Marley is fourteen and loves her family and her neighbors in the town of Heaven. Ever since she can remember, she has had the responsibility to take money to the store and wire it to her Uncle Jack. Uncle Jack consistently writes her about his travels and his dog and she takes all this for granted. Then one day, a letter from someone unfamiliar to her arrives for her mother and father. The letter is a prompt to tell Marley the truth about Uncle Jack. Suddenly Marley’s life is changed forever.

I See the Moon,
C.B. Christiansen, Simon & Schuster—Aladdin Paperbacks, 1994. Fiction—Young Adult

12-year-old Bitte’s older sister is pregnant and has chosen a couple to parent her baby after it is born. Bitte has a difficult time understanding this; she wants the family to keep “Isabella,” as she has privately named the baby. Bitte is sent to stay with her uncle during the summer because she is mercilessly accusing her sister of not wanting the baby. During the summer, Bitte begins menstruating and as she begins to accept the change into womanhood, she also begins to accept her sister’s decisions. When the baby is born, her birth mom and family, and her new parents are at the hospital to receive her and surround her with love. Bitte is the narrator and writes the book at age 24 for Isabella’s 12th birthday present. A beautifully written story.

When Nothing Matters Anymore: A survival Guide for Depressed Teens by Bev Cobain
Bev Cobain, a psychiatric nurse, is cousin to Nirvana's lead singer Kurt Cobain, who killed himself in 1994 after years of struggling with depression and addiction. She has devoted her life to teaching teens about depression, suicide and depression-related substance abuse. In this book, Cobain explains what depression is and how it affects a person's brain. She describes the various treatments available and gives tips on staying healthy. This is an excellent book for teens to learn about their depression diagnosis. Cobain includes first-person narratives of teens who have been there, and she provides countless resources. It is written in an easy-to-read format without talking down to the teen audience.

Magazines

Adoption Magazines
Adoption Today: monthly, subscription - $26.50/year, http://www.adoptinfo.net/ Roots and Wings magazine is joining Adoption Today, formerly Chosen Child magazine. It is a glossy magazine dealing with all issues surrounding adopting internationally and domestically, and includes articles about the process, single parenting, features on becoming multi-cultural family and much MORE...

Adoptive Families: Bi-monthly
One-year (six bi-monthly issues) $24.95 or Two-years (twelve bi-monthly issues) $39.95 Subscribe online at www.adoptivefamiliesmagazine.com or toll-free at 1-800-372.3300 Adoptive Families magazine, written by parents and professionals, contains information on current adoption news and parenting issues. It has articles of interest to all types of pre and post adoptive families. Among the regular features are:

Through the Years--age-specific advice and information
Adopted Child--a regular column by well-known author Lois Melina
It Worked for Us--tips from readers
Reviews of the latest books for children and adults
Been There--a column in which adults speak honestly about growing up adopted
Adoption News and Legislative Update
Calendar of conferences and events around the country
The Waiting Game--a special section for pre-adoptive parents
About Birthparents--experiences and perspectives of birthparents
Single Parent--a column for those parenting on their own

Magazines for Foster and Adoptive Parents:

Fostering Families TODAY Magazine - Only $16.00
Visit http://www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com/
Fostering Families TODAY is the #1 magazine for foster parents! It is for all persons committed to services and permanency for children---including foster and adoptive parents and all professionals who work on their behalf. Listed below are sample of the topics covered:
The rights of children in foster care.
Sorting out the issues of children in care: race, development, culture, sibling placements and long range planning.
Educational needs of children in out-of home care
Fost-adoptive planning
Special needs of abused and neglected children
Medicaid: boon or boondogle?
Adoption or permanent foster care: which really works for the family? Fostering Families Today is a quarterly publication. (4 issues)

Raising Black and Biracial Children; The Parenting Journal of Color.
subscription rate: 1 year/$15.95. 1-866-472-2624 Articles that address tolerance and intolerance and how to help our children learn about racism and yet have a good self-image are only a few of the topics discussed in this magazine. It’s geared to African American, Multiracial, and Transcultural families and to those parents who want to raise a black or mixed child. Articles explaining cultural traditions and those that address differences are a part of the magazine, as well as a book section and sections geared toward particular age groups. Highly recommended.

Magazines for Behavioral Troubles and Brain Disorders

ADDitude: For people with AD/HD, bimonthly, subscription rate: 1 year/$22.50. www.attitudemag.com  ADDitude is for all ages. Working with educators, learning disabilities and ADD, special intelligence of ADD kids, office relationship skills, and new-found facts about ADD are a few of the many approaches this magazine takes to aiding families and individuals. Included is information about coaches for ADD, schools whose teachers are trained to teach students with ADD, and developing communication skills for both children and adults. ADDitude is an extremely helpful resource, which also offers information about other ADD and learning disability resources.

General Parenting Magazines

Parents: monthly
www.parents.com  Each issue includes a section, “As They Grow,” which has educational development information and advice from pregnancy to age 13 years. “Family Life” includes articles about parenting on specific topics, such as dealing with sleep problems and products that are unsafe for children, and articles of interest about travel and activities for children. “Health and Safety” features doctors on call and fitness guides for parents. There are other pertinent articles and a section entitled, “Time for You.”

Parenting with Spirit: quarterly, $5.00 issue
www.parentingwithspirit.com This magazine tends to the spiritual side of parenting and advocates gentleness. The child is the center and every article is rich with instructions for how to discipline children without breaking their spirit. Each issue has a theme and these themes are interwoven into all the issues. Adoption, animals, cross-cultural awakenings, and all religions are a few of the topics in the monthly issues. Articles are written by professional child psychiatrists, mothers, fathers, children, educators and so on. Each issue has reviews about books pertinent to raising children.

Parenting: monthly, subscription rate--$14.97/year
www.parenting.com Parenting has an “Ages and Stages” section that gives parents an idea of what to expect and when for developing children. Lots of articles on parenting advice are included. Children’s and parent’s health has a feature of its own, and tips for combining work and parenting is a regular. Cooking and the editorial staff’s best choices for children’s literature and movies are also part of the many features in this magazine.

Child: monthly, $3.50 issue
www.child.com. Child contains most of the same features as Parents and Parenting magazines. The differences are that it has a section geared completely toward taking care of Mom’s needs and whim for being pampered. (This is a needed touch for adoptive and foster parents!) Child development, health and safety, media and entertainment, fashion (for Moms and kids) and articles related to children’s passions make up this magazine.

Working Mother: monthly, $2.99 per issue
www.workingmother.com. This magazine honors moms! It is rich with articles about balancing work and home and gives lots of information about the work force, as well as style issues as mom and bread earner. It has a section entitled, “Mommy Network,” which includes activities for kids characteristic of the month, such as Valentine’s Day and the winter holidays. There’s always an article about kids and education. And “Food” features easy recipes that are nutritious and attractive to kids.

Daughters: bi-monthly, by subscription only, 1-888-849-8476.
In conjunction with New Moon magazine for Girls, Daughters contains articles by professionals about—of course!—daughters. Parenting of mental health issues, physical health issues, and discipline issues are a few of the topics covered. Sometimes essays of accounts of excursions for fathers and daughters or mothers and daughters are included. Often, women who are celebrities in fields we normally don’t think about, such as dog sledding, or Arctic exploration, talk about their childhood and how they got to where they are.

Focus on the Family: monthly, 75 cents per issue
www.family.org This magazine mostly contains information about how to work with your spouse to keep your marriage intact and these seem to include the importance of working together as parents. It also contains articles that concentrate on parenting.

Magazines for the Kids:

New Moon Magazine for Girls: quarterly, $29.95 per year
www.newmoon.org Written by girls and edited by girls with a woman’s advisory staff, New Moon is for girls ages 9-14. Essays, short stories, pen pals, artwork, multicultural experiences, and an advice column are a few of its features. This is a wonderful, down-to-earth magazine that guides and encourages girls to become strong and confident women.

Narrations; the newsletter by and for kids who are touched by adoption: quarterly, $10.00 per year www.NarrationsNews.com  Narrations has articles and artwork that are written and done by children who are adopted. It’s all about what it feels like to be adopted in any situation, including from multicultural and transracial aspects. Information about specific needs/disabilities that have been mentioned in the children’s articles is also given. Well worth its price!  


Magazines of related interest:

Family Fun: bi-monthly, $2.99 issue
www.familyfun.com Family Fun has lots of ideas for family activities ranging from arts and crafts for kids to places to visit and vacations. It has a section entitled “Cooking Class” where kid-friendly recipes are explained in detail with photographs to help. Often there is a section that offers suggestions about pets. “Review Roundup” is a bibliography of all the latest kids books, videos, DVDs, and games appropriate for the youngest through young adults.

Storytelling Magazine: bi-monthly, $4.95 issue
www.storynet.org Storytelling has stories and fables and character portrayals among other things of interest. All countries and cultures are included. It stresses the importance of handing down oral tales from generation to generation and of familiarizing readers about cultures new to them. This would be a helpful aid with transracial and transcontinental adoptions.

Brain, Child: the magazine for thinking mothers: quarterly, $5.00 issue, www.brainchildmag.com   Brain, Child is a literary magazine containing essays and short stories written by mothers about children and family life. The literature is both thought provoking and instructional. It’s for those moms who need some philosophizing in their lives whether they have time for it or not.

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